apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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