Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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