please come you make the beer taste better
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
