he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
