Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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