Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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