Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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