just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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