it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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