i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
