I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
