Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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