Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
