I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
