Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
