Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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