And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
