So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
