Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
