Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
