when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
