Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
