Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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