There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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