I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
