I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
