Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
