is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
