i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
