Will you blow on my dice?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
