I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I bet he comes in French.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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