i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
