how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
