Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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