In America we eat man semen.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
