i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
