My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
