On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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