Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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