you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
