yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
