ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
