Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
