can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
