Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
