she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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