So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
