Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Congratulations! We have a period
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
