I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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