By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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