The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
